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You cannot change another person based on your actions, no matter how many times they try and make YOU responsible for their behavior, you can only control your reactions to them.

They themselves control their behavior and change can only come from within them.

Obviously, he sees my tears, emotional outbursts, reactions to his anger, and attempts at making up (i.e.

trying to get him out of giving me the silent treatment), as love. I am no longer impressed by his stories, and I no longer flatter him endlessly about why he’s so good at his job, how he does so well with money, and “what can I do to help”.

This is why it is so rare for a narcissist to improve, their very disorder makes it near impossible for them to recognize the damage being done is perpetrated by them.